toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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