We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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