OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
