i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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