I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
