Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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