What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize