Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize