Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
