alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
there is glitter all over my balls
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
