Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
