to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
