Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize