I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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