I hate your face
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
