if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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