fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
