what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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