Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
