I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
