do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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