I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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