You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
