Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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