A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
