There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
