If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize