his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
