There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
