Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
