I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
