i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
