Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
