she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
