I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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