I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
