Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
