it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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