The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And the cops told us we were all naked.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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