We won't sleep together?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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