Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
