Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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