it was like his penis was on wheels.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
