Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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