I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
