Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Im part way to drunk.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
