I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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