You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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