He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
