just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
