If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
