I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
