oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
