We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
