official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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