Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
