Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm like, not good at living.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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