Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
