shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
