Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
