Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
